Maxim has released its 100 Sexiest females of 2009 . Some people consider Olivia Wilde aka "13" from "House" an upset winner over Megan Fox. I think they are splitter hairs, but that is not what I want to talk to you about.
Being that I am the boss of this operation it affords me the opportunity from time to time to do things that have nothing to do with sports (it is good to be the King).
If you have been following me on Twitter (http://www.twitter.com/BlkSportsOnline)you are aware of my musings and philosophies on the female species. So I have a special treat for you today as I will breakdown the difference between 13 and Miss Fox in terms that only a sports fan could love (also gives me an excuse to post some hot pictures).
Every guy in the world knows at least one of these types a female (or you should). A female so gorgeous, so beautiful and so overwhelmingly dripping with sex appeal that you would consider doing something so wrong it is criminal just to impress her.
For example:
You are a bank teller and you have a "Megan Fox" type of female as a friend. One day she is over your house (don't ask me why, but just work with me here) lying on the couch. When the "Megan Fox" lies on the couch by the way they just don't lay on the couch they LAY ON THE COUCH. If you don't understand what I am saying you are a nerd that has never come in contact with the "Megan Fox".
While you are watching "Family Guy" the "Megan Fox" says how she would love to go to Aruba. She starts talking about how her "dream guy" would sweep her off her feet and take her to the island. She talks about what she would do to the guy that takes her to Aruba. When the "Megan Fox" talks she doesn't just talk, she TALKS. If you don't understand what I am saying stop downloading the porn and go outside once and awhile.
When the "Megan Fox" leaves you start to thinking to yourself:
"Hmmmm they make a $10,000 bank deposit everyday at 1pm. At 1:30pm the Bank Manager goes to lunch and that money is exposed away from the video camera. I could easily slide $2000 in my briefcase and no one would know right?"
If you are dealing with a woman like that immediately walk away before you end up in Cell Block D. I've known my fair share of "Megan Foxes" and I wonder how I am not Incarcerated as we speak.
Just a warning.
I am going to be honest with you. I can handle a "Megan Fox" that is a matter of mind over ummmmm yeah. The "13" is a little more difficult to deal with.
The reason they are called "Golden Lasso" women is because of Wonder Woman. Wonder Woman had a lasso that in essence forced men to tell the truth.
Women who look like "The 13" are extremely difficult to lie to. Men have to lie it is in our nature. We lie every day. There are probably seven subconscious lies in this article.
The problem with "The 13" is the eyes. It is hard to lie to someone with eyes like that. They are almost hypnotic. I love the TV show "House" in the first episode she was in she was competing with forty other doctors to be on House's medical team. Now even on TV it is hard to stand out against forty people but I was hooked after ten seconds of her on screen.
She is an ok actress and her plot on House is somewhat bland (except for the bi-sexual part) but every scene she is in the "pimp focus" is strong.
Fellas don't be fooled by a "13" she is the type that have you turning over your pin numbers and security codes and then one day you come home and find out she drained your bank accounts and left with "The Ellen".
When I was at Ohio State I had a thing for a "The 13" how hypnotize did she have me?
She work in a department store where she made commission on sales. I was so hooked I would go to the store once a week and buy something I didn't even want to just to talk to her.
Need a say more?
Fellas be careful out there.
Written By BonaFide Sports Expert Robert Littal
Hilarious!!! Always a good read.
Rob I think your skills are misplaced man. You need to be in comedy not sports.
LMAO at Rob A Bank and Golden Lasso. Megan Fox is hot! But I think being a Golden Lasso is much more fun :)
HAHA Which chic am I Rob? Not sure if I fit either description
Qiana you are definitely a:
"Jersey Chick"
The type of chick who is in the bed with a football jersey looking all fine and we are trying to get our "bed gammon" on, but you too busy yelling at the TV because the team you want to win has went into a prevent defense and letting the other team come back.
The type of chick who sends us out to get you another beer (beverage).
The type of chick that is like "I'll holla at you after the game"
The type of chick who prefer season tickets over flower and candy.
That's you.
Can I be your "golden lasso" girl Robert? *wink*
I think i am a "rob a bank" girl. This guy told me he would steal for me.
Another great R.Littal original.
I need to check the rest of their list.
You are a good man littal. A good man
Both too skinny for me.
lmao Thats cuz you only know me from one angle I'm only part Jersey girl. I have missed games,movies etc for bedgammon and I may like getting season tickets but you better throw in flowers on occasion if you know whats good for you.I may be a guys girl but that girly girl is in there too. Best of both worlds.A man has to cater to both sides with me
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